@kellyoxford
Hope Rod Stewart knows that Maggie May stopped listening to the song when he sang, "The morning sun in your face really shows your age."

@kellyoxford
One of my cats learned how to open doors and now he opens doors for the dog and I live in an 90's family movie.

@kellyoxford
No lie: When the plane landed I had 9 texts and my 13yr old had 343.

@kellyoxford
There should be a drama series about women trying to figure out their mystery leg bruises.

@kellyoxford
One cool thing about marriage is that when you hate each other, the marriage keeps you together until you like each other again.

@kellyoxford
Is my kid an official US Citizen if she just talked about how good the ranch dressing at the Cheesecake Factory is for 10mins?