@plemur
I think the most romantic thing a woman can do for a man on Valentine's Day is to have a vagina.

@plemur
I bet if I could see into the future, I would use that power to watch a lot more TV.

@plemur
I bet a lesbian geneticist would do a lot of lab work for a clone dike bar.

@plemur
I don't drink Kool-Aid because I am worried about excessive property damage.

@plemur
I think the most ironic thing about irony is that it's not made of metal at all.

@plemur
If I ever have two sons, I'll name one Penn and the other Sword, then make them wrestle a lot just to see if it's true.