@Caissie
"People should never again say that if they had a time machine, they'd go back & stop Hitler. Because we now know nobody would." - my kid

@Caissie
A reboot of Dexter, but this time he stalks and kills people who crunch their disposable water bottles as they drink.

@Caissie
Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat.

@Caissie
"Notice how long it took after ending 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' for the military to fall apart!" - someone's desperate talking point I'm sure

@Caissie
Any politician who advocated to cut disaster relief funds & is now asking for them should have to accept a giant novelty check on TV.

@Caissie
Are we still allowed to like Anthony Weiner? Name one other politician who's been indiscreet so efficiently & cheaply.