@SCbchbum
lady in starbucks: “i love your perfume... what is it?” me: “january vogue, page 26.”
lady in starbucks: “i love your perfume... what is it?” me: “january vogue, page 26.”
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@SCbchbum
I’m considering shattering my iPhone screen just so no one asks me to hold their baby.
I’m considering shattering my iPhone screen just so no one asks me to hold their baby.
@SCbchbum
Today’s average 5 yr old can’t tie his own shoes & probably still shits his pants, but he’ll solve your wireless network problem.
Today’s average 5 yr old can’t tie his own shoes & probably still shits his pants, but he’ll solve your wireless network problem.
@SCbchbum
The worst part about my dad having a ponytail is, whenever we go out to eat, the server automatically hands the bill to me.
The worst part about my dad having a ponytail is, whenever we go out to eat, the server automatically hands the bill to me.
@SCbchbum
Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
@SCbchbum
If you’ve ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you're over 40.
If you’ve ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you're over 40.