@sween
In Canada, she's Kilometery Cyrus.

@sween
As Sandy approaches and the waters rise, the beaver stands atop his dam, squints stoically at the horizon, and mutters, “She’ll hold.”

@sween
Wait- the Olympics are over? But what about the brands? WILL NO ONE THINK ABOUT THE BRANDS??

@sween
The bronze medal is the most Canadian medal. It’s really good without being uppity.

@sween
Meanwhile in Canada, the Vampire Lords of Socialized Medicine cackle in their ice fortresses as beaver butlers cower at their feet.

@sween
Yo momma's so fat I hope she's still able to enjoy the day with what has to be a limited range of motion.