@notviking
white people loooooove watching other white people try and park in a difficult spot

@notviking
"all cops are bad" you're wrong some cops are dogs

@notviking
what’s it called when you don’t have book smarts OR street smarts because i have that

@notviking
people always talk about how student athletes bring in tons of money and don’t get paid, yet no one talks about elementary schools selling $7 tickets to plays where the kids act for free. i killed it as king duncan in my 5th grade’s production of mac

@notviking
i haven’t been able to sleep lately and i think it’s because my phone charger gives off a pale blue light and my body thinks it’s the sky so it thinks it’s daytime and not sleep time. yeah, that’s definitely what’s keeping me awake. not my crippling

@notviking
one day soon the sun will explode and completely swallow the earth, completely incinerating all life and leaving nothing except for death and ash, and the olive garden waiter will still legally have to bring me more breadsticks since they’re supposed

@notviking
wearing a hard rock cafe shirt is a good way to tell people that you're well-traveled but still so uncultured that you visit chain restaurants