@Bill_Nye_Tho__
s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic

@MauriceBlitz
What a precious thing it is to bond with someone by talking shit about somebody else.

@brockatkinson
Can't wait until phones become waterproof so pushing people in pools becomes funny again.

@thesulk
Has anything happened since 2008? I've been looking down at my phone.

@mzeld
What's a good article I should open as a new tab and not look at for weeks until my browser crashes?

@nealbrennan
"Grampa, how did you support gay marriage? Did you march like civil rights ppl?" "No. Marching's hard. I tweeted about it."