@thebenbrooks
Someone just told me "if you don't believe in Santa Claus, he'll never visit!" So on that note, I no longer believe in cancer.

@NikiWithIssues
Jesus loves me, but I told him that I could never date a pool boy.

@OhNoSheTwitnt
Probably the most notable thing about being an adult is not knowing whether you're tired or sad.

@yoyoha
Every time someone clears their browser history there should be a little voice that says "good move."

@llvvzz
How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn? China probably can pop corn in one minute.

@juliussharpe
No, please don't feel like you need to use your turn signal. I understand how difficult it can be to slightly move one finger.