@juskewitch
Ever notice Santa brings way nicer shit to rich kids than poor kids? Hey kids ,maybe it's time to do a little Christmas critical thinking.

@TeaPartyCat
A bunch of white men came up with ways to solve institutional racism, and all without having to listen to even one black person. GREAT JOB!

@SCbchbum
Today’s average 5 yr old can’t tie his own shoes & probably still shits his pants, but he’ll solve your wireless network problem.

@HotEatsCoolTwts
"I haven't read an update about Karen's Farmville crops in a few days. I hope everything is OK." - no one, ever

@joeschmitt
Just give me a sec. I'm still waiting for IE8 to open a new tab. A blank tab. Waiting... Still waiting... There it is.

@Jessabelle2o7
I laid here for almost 10 minutes before anyone asked if I was okay after I pretended to get elecrocuted by the copier. Fuck these assholes.