Fun Tweets / A collection of funny tweets, updated daily

RandomHold I'm the cat whisperer. because I whisper, "I could kill you with my bare hands" to them daily.

Tweet or user no longer exists. Only old retweeting is available. Retweet Jul 21 2010

ToneLoaf You can't spell "Schwarzenegger" without "google."

jmabell You know you have no attention span when you require a mental break while typing 140 characters.

Tweet or user no longer exists. Only old retweeting is available. Retweet Jun 8 2010

SassyPantssss "This is way too delicious. Let's ruin it." -People who put pineapple on pizza.

theNuzzy if my mother-in-law was an actress, she'd be the star of The Cunt for Red October.

BillMc7 The news said a condom truck overturned, spilled its huge load and made a big mess. I don't know if it got cleaned up because I fell asleep.