@donni
Never own a pet store. Stores make bad pets.
Never own a pet store. Stores make bad pets.
@wheatnik
I think more research needs to be done on the tube inside your body that carries Taco Bell food directly from your mouth to your butthole.
I think more research needs to be done on the tube inside your body that carries Taco Bell food directly from your mouth to your butthole.
@bobhoss
I could lose weight simply by not eating the food I drop onto my shirt.
I could lose weight simply by not eating the food I drop onto my shirt.
@DannyZuker
People who leave careers to "spend more time with the family" must have really shitty careers or a MUCH better family than mine.
People who leave careers to "spend more time with the family" must have really shitty careers or a MUCH better family than mine.
@welcha56
Mascara in my hair-check, hairspray in my eye-check, lipstick on my shirt-check...I'm ready to start this wonderful Monday
Mascara in my hair-check, hairspray in my eye-check, lipstick on my shirt-check...I'm ready to start this wonderful Monday
@crankfetter
I recommend you chickens learn to talk. Nobody ever said let's go get a bucket of parrot.
I recommend you chickens learn to talk. Nobody ever said let's go get a bucket of parrot.