@BillMc7
29 months? Yeah, no, I meant how old is your kid in HOURS.

@BillMc7
30+ and single? There's an app for that. Wait. My mistake. A cat.

@BillMc7
Man, I can hardly wait for none of this to get done.

@BillMc7
Whoever invented "copy and paste" should never have to go more than 2 hours without someone's lips around his wiener.

@BillMc7
MIND BENDER: Take your age. Now subtract 3. That's how old you were three years ago.

@BillMc7
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change cuz I don't want to get up and find the remote.