@TheChrisAngel
I hope that one day I can be as proud about anything as my cat is about his asshole.

@TheChrisAngel
Remember, I'm not an idiot...I just play one on-OH CRAP I'M ON FIRE! GUYS, HELP! I'M ON FIRE AGAIN! Oh wait...this is just an orange shirt.

@TheChrisAngel
I'm not sure what 'First World Problems' means so I tried to look it up on my phone but I can't get 3G service here and my life is horrible!

@TheChrisAngel
I'm so glad that Twitter keeps track of my number of posts. It is so refreshing to be able to properly quantify my wasted time.

@TheChrisAngel
The most tedious aspect of my job is the part where I have to jiggle the mouse every 30 minutes to keep the screensaver from activating.

@TheChrisAngel
As I sit here naked in Hugh Jackman's hotel room, it occurs to me that I might have mixed up my bucket list with my wife's.