@alispagnola
Sorry I can’t go out. My phone is too old to hold enough charge so I live by this outlet now.

@alispagnola
Did you know you can use voice-to-text on Twitter so this tweet came from my mouth and also stop staring at me people on this bus.

@alispagnola
Someone please invent a service to grocery shop for you but also cook it into a meal and also the meal is pizza oh it's pizza delivery

@alispagnola
Hiding my rewards card in the bushes by my coffee shop so I don't have to keep freakin' remembering to bring it

@alispagnola
I vote we change the name "hoodie" to "bother-my-neck-on-the-couch-ie"

@alispagnola
Petition to get Bruno Mars to change his middle name to "there's water on"