@chrisdelia
Whenever I get out of an Uber I imagine cameras spinning around me and my shirt blowing up in slo-mo like I'm in a Michael Bay movie.

@chrisdelia
Really cool thing about skateboards is you can take the wheels off and bash your skull in if you still use them in your forties.

@chrisdelia
Honestly sometimes I STILL think about how dope it is that I don't have any homework.

@chrisdelia
How about how some people are SO gothed out but still drive a Ford Focus and shit?! Make your vehicle goth or you ain't shit.

@chrisdelia
How come girls always brag about being "reunited" with their friends? Quit that shit. You aren't Outkast. You're just two chicks.

@chrisdelia
How does any girl have less than 90 thousand Instagram followers?