@nedroid
If you're having girl probs, I don't feel bad for you, son/ I've got ninety-nine traits but empathy ain't one

@nedroid
here's my dating advice. Take your date to go-karts. everyone loves go-karts. I just solved your life. you're welcome

@nedroid
Imagine a sister store to Cold Stone Creamery where you can buy a bucket of mashed potatoes with "mix-ins." Hot Mash Potatery

@nedroid
Food Fact: Pringles™ are actually shavings from the Allpringle™, which resides in the center of the Earth

@nedroid
Can't wait for Black Friday. I don't want to buy anything, I just love fighting strangers

@nedroid
If you turn on the TV during the secret extra daylight savings hour, the only thing on is a skeleton who whispers what you're most afraid of