@sbellelauren
back off white people this is nacho holiday

@sbellelauren
there is literally nothing i care enough about to go on a hunger strike

@sbellelauren
i don't know if that's a burrito in your pocket or if you're happy to see me but at that size i'd be interested in both

@sbellelauren
as a die hard cubs fan i don't think it's fair that the cardinals get to choose the pope

@sbellelauren
morning air, meet nipples. nipples, meet everyone

@sbellelauren
when my kids lose a tooth i'm gonna put euros under their pillow they'll cry but i'll be all uh oh looks like daddy has to take us to europe