@Brain_Wash
The fact that there is even such a thing as ugly hookers tells you pretty much all you need to know about men.
The fact that there is even such a thing as ugly hookers tells you pretty much all you need to know about men.
Tweets by @Brain_Wash added on Fun Tweets.
@Brain_Wash
I don't know why people always make such a fuss about how much a newborn weighs. It's a baby, not a stash of cocaine.
I don't know why people always make such a fuss about how much a newborn weighs. It's a baby, not a stash of cocaine.
@Brain_Wash
Sometimes, watching Spanish language TV is like dating. I can only understand every third word they say, but the boobs. Dios mio, the boobs!
Sometimes, watching Spanish language TV is like dating. I can only understand every third word they say, but the boobs. Dios mio, the boobs!
@Brain_Wash
When a spambot tells you to click a link to take an IQ test, that *is* the IQ test.
When a spambot tells you to click a link to take an IQ test, that *is* the IQ test.
@Brain_Wash
Marriage? Ha. Fatherhood? Please. I rarely feel so manly as when I put together a piece of furniture and have no screws left over.
Marriage? Ha. Fatherhood? Please. I rarely feel so manly as when I put together a piece of furniture and have no screws left over.
@Brain_Wash
When I'm sick, I just remember my mother's sage advice: Feed a cold, starve a fever, and drown a soul-crushing depression in food and booze.
When I'm sick, I just remember my mother's sage advice: Feed a cold, starve a fever, and drown a soul-crushing depression in food and booze.